Wednesday, January 28, 2009

TAKING MY LIFE BACK

When I was a kid of impressionable age (less than 4), my father told me that once time is gone, you'll never get it back. Being the age I was, I cannot remember why he said that, and what was it I was doing that made him think I was wasting my time, but one thing I remember clearly was wondering why he said that. If 4:30 pm of today has passed, there's always tomorrow's 4:30 pm! Silly me... Many years down the road, I began to feel the pinch of lost time in the form of deadlines, where losing sleep to squeeze in activities became a norm (which is where I got my coffee addiction)

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, and the fact that my mind has never been clearer seems to have aided the thinking process and I came up with the conclusion that I had put too much effort into one particular thing last year that every other aspect of my life had been neglected. In the sense of doing what was expected of me (there was too much expectation, by the way), I had neglected living - for myself. It is upsetting knowing that I had thrown a whole year of my life that way, thinking that the situation could not possibly last that long, and how everything should be better in time, and no matter what I did, the situation remained the same, my mind was clouded by thoughts that could not sort themselves out, and I was just plain miserable. Knowing that nothing could ever be too late (well, there are some instances, which will perhaps be touched on another time), I have decided to take my life back this year.

For starters, I am contemplating going to a concert this year. Anything will do, I suppose. We actually have Rihanna (after much commotion as some parties thought she was too sexy and decided to protest against it, and the local papers showed a snippet of her saying that she'd cover up. Ha! Ha! Ha!) and Jason Mraz coming over to perform (separately, of course... I can't imagine what their fans would have in common) and I figured I might as well just go and join in the crowd at Jason Mraz's, just for the sake of doing something with my life. I also heard rumours that Coldplay were coming to town, but I don't want to count on that in case history decides to repeat itself two and a half years later! Seeing that I actually despise crowds, this will be something interesting! The only thing I haven't done is get my tickets!

I'm also thinking of completing the 3/4 of a novel I kicked off for NaNo 2006. I had just left it unattended in the past because the competition was over and it is rather difficult to pick up the pieces, but I think this is something I need to do. It will be an indicator if a particular road needs to be taken. Of course there are no plans to get it published or anything. Completing it will suffice at the moment. Followed by editing.

I also realised that I need more holidays. Actual ones which involve moving around with a backpack in an unknown area with friends and taking photos that we can laugh at in the years to come. Nevertheless, a plan which was made earlier this month for the end of this month seems to have disappeared from the radar. Perhaps it's time to pick up the phone...

18 comments:

  1. after much commotion as some parties thought she was too sexy..

    lolwut! Some people be crazy.

    Hey, don't think of last year as a waste of time but a year you realised there was much more to life than meets the eye. Some people spend their entire lives trying to figure that out. Life is delicate like that and thankfully you're a smart girl :)

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  2. I assure you this craziness is not the first ;)

    Well, now that you put it that way... yeah, perhaps it was meant to be that way so that I could get something out of it :)

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  3. despise crowds?? now that sounds familiar! Anyway Terra, it's good that you are going to do something different and interesting. Wish you all the very best.

    Talking about plans..I do have to agree with u there. Me too planned something for CNY but ended up not sticking with any. Reason, everybody had something to do and can't make it. Gosh, it used to be easy last time. Cheers and enjoy the concert! Say hi to Rihanna for me, will ya?? lol

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  4. and thanks for the template link. I finally changed it to a simpler one.:)

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  5. yes, you must get back to that novel project, I am sure you will find a publisher or two along the way and I will be able to boast that I know a published author, even if it is just digital acquaintance :)

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  6. Actual ones which involve moving around with a backpack in an unknown area...

    I soo wanna do this, though without any friends, without anyone actually, making new friends as I go along! Sigh, I don't think my wife will let me go :(

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  7. at once time is gone, you'll never get it back Whaaaaaaa? Nooooo! Aaaaaaaargh.

    Iron maiden was banned many-many years ago from playing in India as their playlist included "Bring your daughter to the slaughter", see we're equally bad out here!

    My solution to the time running out problem is to do nothing all day, to make each day seem like an eternity (why do i get the feeling I've posted a comment similar to this earlier?)

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  8. I remember having a year like you describe where I'd given too much of my life up. I needed to give myself a kick up the arse and it worked... mostly. So take your life back and have some fun.

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  9. In my expereince, there are periods of quiet that appear to be inactivity, when really much is brewing. It sounds like the last year was that for you, leading to some important decisions. Good for you!

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  10. I also realised that I need more holidays. Actual ones which involve moving around with a backpack in an unknown area with friends and taking photos that we can laugh at in the years to come.

    This! Yes! Even as a young'n now I don't do enough of that shit! This summer we *are* going to take an impromptu road trip to New York City, my friends and I. They just don't know it yet.

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  11. I think most of us go through that period at some point in our lives. As always, you learn from it.

    When is Coldplay expected to be in Malaysia?

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  12. Vivek: Not having everyone freee at the same time is one of the biggest problems. And you're welcome... I noticed that you'd changed your template :)

    Tazeen: I will... it just hit me during that period of contemplation that it would be a waste to not let the idea see some light :)

    Rakesh: Travelling alone sounds pretty good as well...

    Kartik: Oh wow! What's up with these moral police who seem to be hanging around our countries? Can't they just allow artistes to perform in peace?

    And yes, come to think of it, I have seen that suggestion hereabouts before ;)

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  13. Aunty: I suppose it is something we all go through at some point. I'm glad we realised it before it's too late. Here's to having fun! :)

    citizen: Yeah, that could have been it. There are many more aspects which I need to take charge of, but I'll handle the smaller ones first. :)

    woozie: That's great. Seize the moment, I say! :)

    anita: I concur. Well, I heard they'll be in Australia in early March or something, so naturally they should be dropping by one of the SEA countries after that. They did S'pore the last time, so there are rumours that they'd do M'sia this time. By the way, I read this on someone's blog, so I really don't know... :)

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  14. Do what you want to do best, Terra. Seems like you're considering some great plans.

    I'd advise going with the crowd, though, for the sake of just doing something different. If you're going to go out of the box, so to speak, might as well do something you're really interested in.

    That said, I LOVE Coldplay, and I wish they'd come here to Manila. We had Rihanna some months back, but I'm not really a big fan of hers so I didn't go see the concert.

    I think a backpacking holiday with friends is a capital idea...I just came back from one. For me, it was a terrific experience.

    Whatever you decide to do, I wish you all the best. Life is short, do what you want to do while you can still do it! :-)

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  15. I'd advise going with the crowd, though, for the sake of just doing something different.

    I meant, I'd advise AGAINST going with the crowd. Sheesh.

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  16. Thanks, Lizza... the backpacking idea is something I've always wanted to do again, if only we could get everyone together. As for going with the crowd, it is more of 'try everything once approach', and besides, Mraz has pretty decent stuff...

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  17. I've been saying this to friends a lot over the last couple of months. It's something my stepdad told me, and I've taken it as part of my personal philosophy.

    The next X amount of time is going to happen anyway. In addition to the "have to" things, you might as well add some "want to" things.

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