Saturday, February 28, 2009


If blogs could talk, I wonder how their conversations with the other blogs who are their friends would be like. Will they complain about neglect or overuse? Or will they talk about the lives of their authors and reveal information that do not grace the pages of the blogs? Or will they just sit comfortably in their respective urls and enjoy each day as it goes by. Alas! This may be something we will never know.

Unfinished Business Part 2 ends it's third year this very day, and is embarking onto it's fourth. Not bad at all for what started as place to secretly back up blog posts (which can explain the blog url, if anyone's ever noticed), which then turned into something else as the days and weeks and years went by. Blogging has been fun at most, and a pretty good way to view something objectively, to remember minor incidents that have happened which would otherwise be forgotten with selective memory as well as to see how we've grown up throughout the years. Even the style of blogging and the contents change throughout the years, minor and subtle mostly, but still there are changes. One thing I used to do was to go back and read the very first posts in blogs I read. It usually gives you a rough idea on what you're expected to expect from the blog. It's pretty cool, really.

Throughout the years, fellow blog enthusiasts (or bloggers, as we're known) have slowly but surely became friends, and one great thing I noticed is that so many of us have so many things in common, and to be honest, this a wonderful place to be in, one of the best places to know that you're not alone when you think of some crazy idea, or that people whom you've never met before can have so much understanding and compassion that you're so touched by their gestures even if it's merely words, or an e-hug. And you all know who you are, from those who were with me when I wrote posts that almost always had a weird ending, those who disappeared along the way together with their blogs never, to be seen again as well as to those who joined in the bandwagon along the years when the stuff began to get more normal. Errr... sort of

I suppose the title of the post says it all, but I'd like to say it again. Thank you everyone!

The very first post

The first blogversary post

Thursday, February 26, 2009


This goes out to my future self and anybody who considers themselves accident prone.

"Your eyes are placed where they are placed for a reason. Use them. Besides, metal and bone don't make a good mix and shoulders have a tendency to be bony. "

The left shoulder feels like crap.

Edit: Yes, I have injured myself (being the kind of person I am), but there is no permanent damage (or at least I hope to think so)

Monday, February 23, 2009


In the initial days of blogging which seems so far away, I used to avoid putting up pictures on the blog like a plague. I'd say this was contributed to the fact that I had indeed started on this addictive hobby when I was still struggling with a 56kbps modem, and pictures would have taken a lifetime to load. After all, anyone who has known me long enough will well be aware of all the connection problems I have faced throughout, the most recent just a few months ago.

These days I do put up pictures, for visual purposes at times, but the latest of the lot was a mystery! Till the very end, and on three different browsers, the picture never enlarged despite the fact that I had stated on the post right below the picture : "Click to enlarge" My mistake was I only checked it once after posting the post on Friday night and blamed it on my browser. Very convenient, aight?

Anyway, a little over a day later I spent a good half an hour putting the picture up, just to take it down again, publishing and republishing to see what the problem was. Other pictures seem to be able to enlarge in just one click, and why didn't this? Did I accidentally put a curse on it by saying the words "Click to enlarge"? Who knows... Even changing the format from .jpg to .gif didn't help.

Finally, I tried again one final time. I put up the original picture and instead of moving the picture to the middle like what I did in the gazillion attempts at republishing, I left it at the top. So what if it doesn't look nice anymore? Editing can be tiresome after a gazillion attempts, and voila!

The picture can now be enlarged. So to Citizen of the World and Orhan (if you really want to read the Post It that has now lost all relevance) it can be clicked - with results :)

So, we have sort of solved the problem, but the mystery remains. Has anyone else faced this before?

Sunday, February 22, 2009


"You can see a difference" he said "Their asses are much flatter"

The rest of us looked out of window into the street to check out the 'asses' of some of the people standing there in their skimpy outfits, but because of the dark and the slight drizzle nothing was obvious, but we took his word for it.

So, that said... how many years does it take for a man to turn into a woman?

The recent popularity of a particular networking site here in Malaysia has enabled me to reconnect with people whom I once knew, some I've lost contact with from 17 years ago, and some as recent as 6 years. While it is heartening to know that most of them still remember me, it never fails to surprise you how many things and people have changed.

I knew M with a male name since 1998, we were in several classes together, and at that time his soft side was never very obvious. He still dressed in T-shirts tucked into his trousers - something no teenage girl in her right mind would have done at that time. Fast forward a few years later when we used to be in the lab conducting experiments for our thesis, his feminine side was so much more obvious - for one, his complexion was fantastic, and we girls used to comment - much better than ours, and he started dressing more like us, in fitted tops with jeans. The dress ruling for my faculty was very relaxed because we were way up on the mountain and no one cared. In a much more recent development, he informed me that he had been reborned. I can only guess what he meant by that. The few photos he put up on the networking site showed him with almost shoulder length hair wearing dresses and traditional Malay costumes, and sporting a new name, M - of a female kind.

Now, I know there is a huge stigma (well, at least here in M'sia) surrounding this whole issue of people being confused about their genders and so on, but I highly doubt that people do so on purpose. I remember some of our guy course mates used to be afraid of M and his friends (there were two others like him) and avoided them at all costs. Nevertheless, I do believe that sometimes, it is possible for people to be born in the wrong bodies. You're physically male, but deep down, you know you're a woman. The same goes for being physically a woman, but in reality you're all male. That's something that could be equally confusing as well as depressing. The thing is no matter how much you change physically, the people you once knew will always know that you were once a man or a woman depending on the situation, and it makes things much harder. What's really weird (and bothers me) is the fact that sometimes, some people go all the way out to make life even harder for them. From what I've heard, it's hard for them to get employment, seek acceptance into society and these only scratch the surface.

Friday, February 20, 2009


I imagined that the bout of laziness was just a temporary thing, you know, like how February is a short month, and you kind of won't miss it if you lost it kind of thing, but when it hits the second week and you still feel lazy like hell, realization hits you like a whack on the shin against a sharp edge.

Anyway, I figured yesterday evening (Thursday) at about 3:00 pm amidst my sleepiness (Ah, and that's another bother - I've been sleeping by 10:30 pm/11 pm, and yet my body tells me it's not enough and retaliates in unimaginable ways) that I have got to stop living life (especially work wise) in paragraphs. You'll surely miss something along the way, and hence I created a to do list under duress.

I am immensely pleased to announce that at this very moment everything up there on the PostIt note has been seen to. Yay!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009


A conversation from September 2006

HK: NK, how are your eyes now?
Nan: Didn't you ask him the same question the last time you met? (May 2005)
NK: They're Ok now. But the astig(matism) is still there. How's yours?
HK: (To Nan) We underwent the same procedure, of course I have to know the latest news. (To NK) Mine's still dry.
NK: Still using the drops?
HK: Of course. I need the fake tears. I just guess there's not enough tears in my eyes.... (said in a slow, melancholic tone)

(During this conversation, the others kept quiet, not having undergone laser treatment. I wear glasses (mostly), Nan uses contact lenses, and SLL has near perfect eyesight)

So, here's what I heard - laser ops should only be done after 30, because apparently before that, your eyes are not mature enough. I'm still about a year and a bit away from that, so at the moment, I wear glasses to work (because our environment is filled with chemicals and stuff), and contact lenses when I go out with friends or family and when I know that photos might be taken. For the past year and a half, I have been using permanent soft lenses, which last for about that long and it was time to get a new pair. I suffer from very high astigmatism that doesn't allow me to wear normal daily disposables and even monthly disposables have to be pre-ordered and 6 months supply cost me 25% more than the average user pays for a year's supply, which I don't mind, but since I don't use it everyday (maybe once or twice a week), it's kind of a waste!

So, I get a call today, and guess what? They say that the permanent soft lens have been discontinued, and I could get dailies which can't be used for night vision (what if I need to drive back at night?) or monthlies. I'm opting for monthly disposables, which I suppose will see me using contacts on a more regular basis now.

Why do things like these always happen? Can't the world just be kind for once and allow Terra to have her comfortable (and affordable!) lifestyle with her permanent soft contact lenses? Sigh...

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


As the earth spins on it's axis in it's little corner in the milky way, things are happening, and as I see it, the world seems to be throwing one horror story on top of another on a plate and never bothered to decorate it with bits of tomatoes or parsley. Everything seems so serious and so bleak, from crashes to fires, and floods, and it worries me up to a certain extent . Seriously, what's going on?

So while the earth and all the people in it struggle with each blow, is it wrong of me to think that the 'domestic' squabble between two very young singers was kind of funny (which led to the postponement of her concert here which would have broken a few hearts here and there, but still...) or even another story which was in a local tabloid some time ago about a man who threw his wife into a river? She survived, thankfully, but thinks her husband ought to be jailed because that was a terrible thing he did. I know for a fact that if it had been me who was thrown into a river, I'd have most probably died of fright, but I still can't help thinking how funny this story actually is. Perhaps it was the way it was presented, I don't know.

Another story that cracked me up unnecessarily was about a Malaysian man who has been stuck in India and has been unable to come home since his passport expired in 1977. He actually has been held in India because the authorities there wanted to know how he had stayed there for so long! I mean how ironic can the situation be? Most countries deport their illegals immediately, and here is a man (technically, he is an illegal) who wants to go home, but is forced to stay.

Even the oh so naive and innocent comments made by a 13 year old baby faced father who is only four feet tall (seriously, the newspaper should not have mentioned that fact), had me laughing much to the disgust of my sister.

A long time ago, I had openly asked a question on the old blog that went something like this... " How terrible a person am I if I keep getting visions of finishing up someone?" to which there was a reply via a comment made by a friend who asked if I had been reading the Catcher in the Rye. Till today, I never found out what she meant despite having read the book 3 and a half times!
What I'm trying to say (or ask) is, has all the tragic news we've been getting made us any less sensitive to some of the problems faced by people around us?

Sunday, February 15, 2009


The sun was blazing in the middle of the afternoon of a cloudless day, the dust refusing to settle as it swirled with the wind. I squinted to watch the traffic light turn from red to green at the junction rather impatiently as Bon Jovi belted out Blaze of Glory.

All cars from all the junctions were at a standstill. I didn't know which direction was showing green, but no one seemed to be moving, although you could feel that everyone wanted to move. The whole scene sort of reminded me of old Hollywood cowboy movies where the cowboys would swagger to opposite ends in the heat, with the dust moving along with their footsteps and to end with performing the act of gunslinging. And perhaps shooting :)

My reverie was broken by the light turning green as soon as the song was over!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


Having a break in momentum on Monday was a bad idea to begin with, but laziness prevailed (due to a missing pair of shoes and protesting hamstrings)

It's already Wednesday, and I still feel so incredibly lazy. It's like everything is in a standstill, or perhaps moving in slow motion like a particular scene from the movie "The Graduate"

The air is heavy, hanging and I'm dreadfully sleepy, and all I want to do is to listen to one particular song loudly and sing along to it at the top of my lungs. which I can't because I don't know all the words.

Bein' this lazy,
Is drivin' me crazy
There's nothin' fancy
Who said it's a democracy?

My mind's gone fuzzy
The world looks hazy
Fields are all grassy,
Musical instruments, brassy.

Tis a simple word, lazy
But it kinda leaves you daze-y!

Sunday, February 08, 2009


Just when I thought to myself to slow down a bit on the blogging front in February for the sake of quality over quantity, something happens to me that leaves me barefooted and feeling very vulnerable, which in turn forces this post to pop out uninvited. I must admit that it does leave me a little bit happy because it used to be things like these that drove me to blog in the first place!

What started to be a very normal Sunday afternoon, ceased being normal when I could not find my sneakers in the gym locker room while I was in the changing room for two minutes! I mean, it was there when I left it and when I wanted to put on the sneakers after changing, they were not there. I looked under the benches, in the locker, everywhere I could think of and they were nowhere to be found!

So there I was in the locker room, barefooted and a tad bit miserable listening to sad songs on my ipod. Thank goodness my sister was heading to the gym and I called her and she said she'd grab me something.

Looking back, I can't help but wonder what could have happened to those shoes. I don't know of the existence of any witches or wizards who can do magic, and sneakers, although used for running cannot possibly run on their own without someone to run in them! And they're big and bulky and cannot be accidentally pushed into a corner.

The only thing I can think of is that they might have been accidentally taken by someone else, but who on earth can't recognise their own shoes, and my socks were in there too! And it's not as though I use Adidas, or Nike Air or even Reebok pumps for anyone to want to pilfer them. They're very normal, non-branded shoes which are only about 5 months old and are still in good condition (because I only go to the gym twice a week) Plus, I get attached to my stuff, even shoes, especially when they treat me well, which is why I'm still using a phone which is over 3 years old and is outdated to the point where it has become something people joke about! But then if they were indeed pilfered by someone on purpose, I hope they have permanently smelly feet for the rest of their lives!

Saturday, February 07, 2009


Growing up, death was never a taboo topic in the house. My earliest encounter with death was that of my paternal grandmother when I was about 7, and that was it. I kind of learned that we'll never see her ever again and that was it. Of course later on, death did somehow effect me in a way, especially that of my maternal grandfather, which is most probably not helped by his reccuring appearance in my dreams at times.

Even these days, we joke about death a lot at home... like take this conversation I had with my mom about a few weeks ago, where she said that she'd rather go off and die somewhere and I told her that if she died, I'd kill her. Naturally, she laughed at this. Mom thinks I'm very funny sometimes.

For that reason, I was a bit surprised at the reaction I received for the Facebook status update I so stupidly put up without thinking (but tell me, who really thinks about what they're putting up, and how it will effect anyone?)

I had jokingly predicted a time of death for myself because I had used a word in a report that received raised eyebrows and a request to explain what my definition of the word was. Even in the cold room where we were seated, I felt my temperature rise, more out of annoyance at their inability to comprehend simple English than anything else, but I also feared my fate during the wrap up, where our little sessions throught the week would be summarised, and most probably something would be made into a big issue in the typical making a mountain out of the molehill fashion.

I was surprised that a friend asked about it in an email, colleagues at work were talking about it and started asking questions about what happened (how on earth did the whole company end up getting facebook accounts is beyond comprehension)some of the comments friends put up in response to my status and even the sister's boyfriend asked her what was up, and wanted to know if I was okay. I didn't expect talking about dying would have been taken so seriously. Of course, after talking to the sister about it, it kind of hit me that maybe some people are not very keen on talking so carelessly about death, just like how some of my friends and I realised that not everyone can handle being called something which they're not, for instance this friend of ours who totally flipped out and started sulking when someone asked her to stop being a cow (she was being very silly about something in the first place) whereas the rest of us in that gang would have just laughed it off.

I suppose this sort of serves as a life's lesson about how different we are in perceiving things sometimes. I don't think it will change the way I look at it... I will still call my sister 'monyet' (monkey) at times, and I will continue using the word die, but at least I now know that not everyone will look at it the same way.

Anyway, since we're on this topic, and I can view stuff from youtube from this machine, I leave you with this video of one of the songs I'm currently listening to:

Thursday, February 05, 2009


If you thought that watching Nigella (Lawson) on tv cooking up a delectable storm with your favourite ingredient would be a nice way to wind down after a strangely boring day at work, you're most probably right, unless you're listening to the news at the same time.

I was sick to the stomach last night upon hearing the news of several traitors brazenly jumping ship from one party to another after vehemently denying those allegations just the day before. Ok, fine... perhaps they have some issues with their respective party propagandas, but they should have been open about it. And tell the people they're sorry or something because they got up there in the first place because of the people, or better yet, just resign from their respective posts like gentlemen/proper ladies.

What's worse is the way the newscasters presented the news. It was as though this latest jumping ship is the greatest thing in the world, something everyone should be proud of, which is so disgustingly disgusting. I've always thought politics was filthy and politicians were merely puppets that danced according to the tune that was hot at the moment. If it's R&B, then R&B it should be... but the blatant disregard towards integrity is (for the lack of a better word) just plain disgusting.

Ugh! What the hell is wrong with everything and everyone? And why on earth do I (who usually tries my best to not give a damn) bother about this so much? I've never been so upset about an issue like this before that it bothers me. All these idiotic things make me want to become a hermit crab under a protective shell!

Stupid Things

This is an attempt to write without filters. Pauses between sentences and ideas will be kept to a minimum. Spelling errors will be there, bu...