It has been quite awhile since I ever acknowledged to having a best friend. Growing up, I had a small belief in best friends, those you share your deepest darkest secrets with, from silly crushes to favourite tv shows and books and secret desires to push annoying people down the stairs because I had read about such things and lived mostly in the world of make belief due to lack of entertainment.
I've always been surrounded by people, so called kindred spirits but rarely had anyone particularly close whom I could call my best friend. The closest friend I ever had was when I was in my early teens, where we rode the school bus together, joined the band in school (although only for 1 year) and spoke in F language about everything under the sun (much to the annoyance of some others who didn't know the 'language'). And then one day, without any warning, we just drifted apart (where she got chummy with some other kid whom I thought was the most boring person ever) none of us able to figure out why. They later on ceased being buddies as well. Today, I still hang out with this friend occasionally, and although we stopped speaking F language mainly because we are too old for such childish things and there's no need to keep our current conversation matters a secret.
Anyway, I met this friend last night, and we remembered an incident where another 'friend' of ours went ballistic because none of us (3 people) could make it to her wedding dinner, due to various reasons. She sent us a terrible e-mail which I almost wanted to reproduce here because I never imagined anyone who could be so mean (I'm sort of non-confrontational, so the e-mail came as a surprise) but I didn't because by the time I wanted to do so I wasn't so annoyed anymore. A discussion with victim no 3 of her e-mail reached the conclusion of allowing the matter cool down on it's own. About a year later, the ballistic friend starts communicating again, even though it's only through facebook.
About a week ago, she (ballistic friend) celebrated her birthday, and according to the friend I met yesterday, she was invited to a 'small birthday party' at the last minute. She couldn't go because of the last minuteness of the invitation (and I just realised that I wasn't invited! Tsk tsk) and now our ballistic friend is giving her the cold shoulder. So, I guess my friend will only be hearing from her in the following year?
Some of the friends I'm closest with (those who did Chem Eng with me) are the most understanding bunch ever. Invitations are sent out much earlier, and e-mails are circulated so you can plan, and even if you can't make it, no one is offended. Especially not to the extent of snubbing you for a year!
On a different note, I'm a bit perplexed by certain friends who suddenly decide to cut you off for no apparent reason - deliberately not replying messages/e-mails/yahoo messenger messages although they previously did so quite regularly. I've had two cases happen within the last year (2007) and can't seem to find any reason for such an action. Like I said, I don't go around picking fights and arguments with people. I'm thinking if it's time to start burning bridges on my own.... you know... clear up that cluttered phone book and e-mail addresses book.
PS: Edit on 6/10/08 - The two friends who cut themselves away were actually quite good friends of mine and also knew each other quite well. I was handpicked as a proofreader (of a play) for one of them and even contributed a haiku for the play. The other one I would consider a lost twin due to our similar interests (except for reading) which is why I think it's weird of them to do so, but then I also think I need to add that both of them have done this cutting off people thing once before (that I know of, anyway) That said, after giving it a bit of thought I've decided against burning the bridges with these two after all... (because they did it already) :)