Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Carte Blanche

If I were a psychology student, a study on people's inclination towards curiosity might be something I would pick for a research study, because lets face it - everyone is curious up to a certain degree. I occasionally preface questions with a 'just curious' remark before I dive in.  However, since I've long left the days of sitting at a desk with a coffee mug, a thick book and an assortment of pens and pencils, and have doubts about having any use for psychology (I am not exactly what you'd call a people person), I figured I'll just blog about it.

On Sunday night, an *old friend (let's call him Pineapple) whom I haven't seen or had a proper conversation with for years and years (probably since 2000) decided to say hi when he saw me online. While this in itself was not all that weird to begin with since most people say hi to each other when they meet them online especially after a long time, what I found strange and a tad bit unnerving is that the question, "so, are you married?" was blurted out so suddenly within the first few minutes of our conversation that it actually caught me off-guard. Thank goodness it was only an online conversation, and this friend was probably spared the look of mock horror on my face. 

I answered him and  I thought to myself  "Ha! Now that you've asked a rather **personal question, I am free to ask anything as well!"  and I happily allowed my fingers to type out the very same question he asked me. Turns out, this is a friend with a story - he was about to get married, but he and his (ex) partner called it off to go their own separate ways just a few months ago. I certainly wasn't expecting that.

There's no moral of the story to this post, or even a story for that matter - except, maybe we could all learn to not always turn the table on people in terms of questions they ask us unless we already know the answer to the question. Ha ha. However, it is certainly proof that people are curious. As to why they are curious about your availability/marital status, I can't say, although I have a strong feeling it's due to how the society views life in general.

*As usual, when talking to him, I tried to recall the details of our past interaction - how we ended up being friends and such,  and the story is basically like this - his younger brother who is nearer my age was friends with some of my friends and me, and for that reason, we ended up hanging out quite a bit back then. After some time, however, another friend joined our group and somehow was attracted to this guy, which she unfortunately believed had similar sentiments towards her, but it was not to be. Ah, unrequited love. One afternoon, she stormed into my dorm room, crying and narrated the heartbreaking story of how this guy had ***led her on, etc and how he had the gall to walk off, buy some tissue paper and then offer her the offending packet of tissues when she started crying. And then just because she started hating him, he turned from being a drop dead handsome guy into someone whose head is shaped like a pineapple! - in her eyes. ;)
Even worse, I even wondered if the person he almost married thought he looked like a pineapple or not.

**I might as well admit that I usually stay away from personal questions of any sort because I almost always end up being some sort of aunt agony once I do. Also, due to my good reputation as a secret keeper, friends like to tell me their stories, and sadly I really have no idea how to respond to some of them at times

*** No one knows his version of the story, and no one's ever asked, so I'll refrain from making any judgement on if he actually led her on or not. Knowing the girl, though, and although she was a friend as well,  I sort of have to believe that it was all in her head. :(


  1. I can never understand why some people start off a conversation with 'Are you married?" *shakes head*

    But I guess it's just mild curiosity :)

  2. When a guy you haven't met for a long time suddenly gets in touch and the conversation quickly gets around to your marital status....he has an agenda. Be flattered or assume it's just inquisitiveness but nine times out of ten he's fishing.

  3. sriyani: Hmmm... I think it's more of a nosy curiosity... ha ha. Well, probably because people assume that you're already settled down/going to get settled down when you've hit 30!

    King Of Scurf: In this case, I really can't say. Like I mentioned to sriyani above, one of the possible reasons of his asking could be contributed to the fact that the community expects you to be settled down by a certain age.

  4. I agree with King of Scurf. I think he was fishing.

  5. Ok... That would make things a bit more interesting, actually...


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