Thursday, November 09, 2006


I broke down in front of the colour spectrophotometer this morning while I was having a discussion with the QA executive regarding some colour issues that have been mushrooming at a rapid pace the last two weeks or so.

She didn't know what to do, except saying, hey, calm down... and patting me on the shoulder.
Apparently, I'm not the first to break down in tears. A few other 20 somethings have been at it too.

Things have been going on quite awfully the last few days especially. There are so many things to do, the problems keep cropping up, I investigate, and my findings leave me even more baffled than before.

I spend about 12 hours a day in that place, taking in as much crap as I possibly can. It's too much. There's only so much I can bear.

But I still don't get why I cried. The last time I did that at work was when I just joined this place and was in charge of something I had no experience in (I was practically a fresh graduate right out of school that time) and the thing didn't turn out as expected, and I was scolded by almost everyone in the hierarchy. At least, I had the sense to run into the ladies to do my crying then. Now I realise that those idiots just took advantage of my gullibility.

I've been feeling so miserable that I didn't have the energy to blog. I just went around and put in comments on other blogs that I read. I'm beginning to feel that I've bitten off more than I can chew... the Japanese Exam (the main one is in less than a month), I've not read a book for more than a week, I can't attend the second biggest life changing event of my friend's because of the exam, and I don't know how to tell her. And all the stupid damn problems that refused to be resolved.

I actually hate life right now. And I hate November too.


  1. Oh God, bad day, huh?

    It if makes you feel any better, sometimes the situation is really not as bad as we think. Shit happens. We just learn to shrug it off and move on to other things. But every now & then, we would do the most unexpected things in response, like breaking down in front of strangers for no apparent reason. Just as long as it doesn't result in the harming of others (even though we may feel like it sometimes), it's nothing to worry about :-)

    Time for a career change, perhaps?

    Hope your bad day ends by the end of today, & doesn't extend throughout the whole month.

  2. Bad week, actually. I didn't mind the crying so much, except that there was so much tears, and people keep walking in and out of the room.

    Thanks for your kind words, Pugly... appreciate it :)

  3. oh you poor chicken. I have so been there. There's just a limit to the amount of stress that can build up before you have to blow off some steam.

    I had a total break down in front of my hard ass bitch of a boss about 2 years ago, ostensibly because another colleague insisted that I change a room booking. Sometimes its for the best that your body takes over from your mind and does shows the outward signs of stress. It can actually make people take a little pressure off you (possibly just because they're afraid that when the men in white coats carry you off they'll have to do your work).

    Try to take some time to be nice to yourself. Have a bath or something like that and just indulge yourself for an hour. It'll help you to feel better in times of stress.

    Take care of yourself

  4. Sometimes, it's okay to cry and just let it all out. Don't worry. Things will get better. Before you know it, November will be way past and merry Christmas will be at hand.

    Smile, beautiful! c",)

  5. aunty and irene: yeah, I felt better after the break down, but it was kind of emnbarassing and all...

    Well, things will get better, they always do :)

    Thanks for the kind words

  6. Hey, you're allowed to hate life and hate November and not be into blogging. I think that's the way that our minds and bodies have of telling us, "Give me a break," and then you give them a break and they have time and energy to repair themselves. I hope it works out, but not until you have done a little pampering and avoidance.

  7. November has started on a bad note for me too.

  8. Whoa there girl. Breaking down before a color spectrophotometer is a no no. Poor spectrowhateveritdoesthinger. You must've scared the poor thing.

    You might want to break down before Prometheus. Bad November? Damn, he's had a bad 1900 and is currently on bad 2000s. He's president of the I Hate Life group. Talk to Prometheus, girl. Wud make ya feel better.

  9. Hey.. hope you're feeling better now.. everyone of us has our ups and downs.. just hang in there.. =)

  10. gem: The avoidance (no pampering, though!) has worked. All it takes is a rainy Sunday and lots of Ice cream :)

    passion:my sympathies... let's hope it's not as bad as July

  11. prometheus: Is membership open for the I Hate Life group? There is an occasional need to enter such groups.

    Anyway, the colour spectrophotometer remains stoically unmoved by my public display of misery. Sigh...

    Oh, Terra thanks prometheus for the offer to break down. She will have to think about it :)

    Princess: thank you :)

  12. Them color spectrothingumersnappers are Japanese, Terra. And you know the Japanese never display their emotions. They remain stoic throughout. Now if that was a B&W spectrobummerdopper, it would've yelped.

    How does Prometheus know these machines? Well, people don't talk to him, so he talks to machines. And they bleep, bloink, preep right back at him.

  13. Is Prometheus a mind reader of sorts. Here we have a stoic and unsympathetic colour specmeter thingy, and it IS Japanese.


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