TAKING MY LIFE BACK

When I was a kid of impressionable age (less than 4), my father told me that once time is gone, you'll never get it back. Being the age I was, I cannot remember why he said that, and what was it I was doing that made him think I was wasting my time, but one thing I remember clearly was wondering why he said that. If 4:30 pm of today has passed, there's always tomorrow's 4:30 pm! Silly me... Many years down the road, I began to feel the pinch of lost time in the form of deadlines, where losing sleep to squeeze in activities became a norm (which is where I got my coffee addiction)

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, and the fact that my mind has never been clearer seems to have aided the thinking process and I came up with the conclusion that I had put too much effort into one particular thing last year that every other aspect of my life had been neglected. In the sense of doing what was expected of me (there was too much expectation, by the way), I had neglected living - for myself. It is upsetting knowing that I had thrown a whole year of my life that way, thinking that the situation could not possibly last that long, and how everything should be better in time, and no matter what I did, the situation remained the same, my mind was clouded by thoughts that could not sort themselves out, and I was just plain miserable. Knowing that nothing could ever be too late (well, there are some instances, which will perhaps be touched on another time), I have decided to take my life back this year.

For starters, I am contemplating going to a concert this year. Anything will do, I suppose. We actually have Rihanna (after much commotion as some parties thought she was too sexy and decided to protest against it, and the local papers showed a snippet of her saying that she'd cover up. Ha! Ha! Ha!) and Jason Mraz coming over to perform (separately, of course... I can't imagine what their fans would have in common) and I figured I might as well just go and join in the crowd at Jason Mraz's, just for the sake of doing something with my life. I also heard rumours that Coldplay were coming to town, but I don't want to count on that in case history decides to repeat itself two and a half years later! Seeing that I actually despise crowds, this will be something interesting! The only thing I haven't done is get my tickets!

I'm also thinking of completing the 3/4 of a novel I kicked off for NaNo 2006. I had just left it unattended in the past because the competition was over and it is rather difficult to pick up the pieces, but I think this is something I need to do. It will be an indicator if a particular road needs to be taken. Of course there are no plans to get it published or anything. Completing it will suffice at the moment. Followed by editing.

I also realised that I need more holidays. Actual ones which involve moving around with a backpack in an unknown area with friends and taking photos that we can laugh at in the years to come. Nevertheless, a plan which was made earlier this month for the end of this month seems to have disappeared from the radar. Perhaps it's time to pick up the phone...