AN EPIPHANY ON EPIPHANIES

An epiphany hit me this morning while I was in the shower. I recall groaning at how ridiculous the whole thing was but as much as I try to recall the exact epiphany (which had a really nice ring to it), I can't. A "doesn't sound as good as the original" version is: 

Epiphanies only hit you when you're unable to do much about it, after which your mind carelessly shoves it aside to tell you to concentrate on what you're doing instead. It then forgets to save it, nor will you be able to 'auto-recover' it from the depths of your brain. Or even if you do, it's just fragments of the real thing and doesn't seem as solid anymore.

HAZY POETRY

The haze is back,
Just our luck,
Grey skies abound,
All you can see is the ground,
And nothing above a 12 foot rack!

The forest is on fire,
Definitely not burning with desire,
I'm not sure about the peat
But if you think about the heat
It burns the quagmire

A sorethroat has come knocking,
I wear a striped red stocking
Oh! There goes the wind
The sun saying hi from behind
Adieu! I'm going spelunking


The haze arrived some time ago (I can't remember when exactly), but I was thinking this morning about how the blurry skyline looks like there is a mist shrouded in mystery until it assaults your nose from all directions.

I wrote the 'poetry'  waaaay back in 2006. Some things are just there for rhyming purposes.

A Medium Sized Conspiracy

If clothes maketh a man, does clothes size maketh a woman?

Perhaps. Why else would some of us chase the coveted but almost unattainable size 0? Unattainable sizes aside, here's something I came to realise in July last year (yes, this post has been pending for almost a year) but never managed to get the contents into the blog editor until I was clearing out my drafts and saw this title, and some inspiration from Pat Hatt's post on conspiracy theories. 

See, between July and August every year, we receive a form with our names on it with a few columns to tick (shirt size and pants size among others), and every year since they introduced the new uniform, I've been ticking on size M. I figured you'll be on the safe side of not putting on too much weight if you maintain your uniform size throughout your working years. Turns out, this isn't particularly true.

It's been awhile since the new uniform and the new sizing came into effect. I have three different sets from 3 different years so far, all sized M only in theory, but when you actually use them, the ones from 2009 are slightly smaller than the set from 2010, and the set from 2010 are slightly smaller than the set from 2011 (there's a slight difference in the sleeves which enables me to differentiate which uniform belongs to which set - plus the fact of how worn out they look) 

Size M throughout the years

My love for conspiracy theories went into overdrive, and I figured (for some unfathomable reason) that someone out there (the tailor??) was trying to fool you into thinking you've not gained too much weight to be still able to wear the same size you did three years ago. I checked around with others, but only a few others noticed the difference in size. I was trying out to figure out why, and then one day as I was browsing through the net some time ago searching for size conversions I came across what they call "Vanity Sizing" Ahem. So much for conspiracy theories unless you consider the very idea of vanity sizing as yet another conspiracy theory.

Who Let My Number Out??

As much as I love technology (and as much as it doesn't love me back, alas), I have to admit that I loathe the cellphone. It's useful no doubt - it's helped me get un-lost when I got a friend on the phone to help me out of a wrong turn, it allowed me to call for help when I needed help, and it facilitates the online payments I make through my bank's online banking services by texting me the top secret codes that allow me to do so. At the same time however, I also am at the receiving end of a slew of rubbish, from salesmen calling me to sell me insurance I don't need, strange messages asking me to watch some sexy dance by a hot (insert name of neighbouring country here) dancer, to some messages from the government, one which annoyed me endlessly was when they sent me wishes for the New Year earlier this year.

The other day, I received a message, this one from an *independent research company asking me if I thought the current state government (PakRa) or the current state opposition (BeeNd) (which is the Federal Govt) would 'bring back the glory of the state' in the next elections. It also said that only 1 sen would be charged for my answer. I haven't answered them because I think that your vote ought to be a secret, but another part of me thinks that maybe I should just mess with them and answer who I'd rather not vote for....

*Independent research company, yeah right. With a phrase like 'bring back the glory of the state', it doesn't take too many braincells to figure out whose side they are on. For those of you outside of Malaysia, the elections of 2008 led PakRa into ruling the state I live in from the very first time from BN who have ruled the state for decades. This theory on how un-independent the research coompany is was proven one day later when the same number sent me another text promoting a concert organised by BeeNd near where I live.

Run Terra, Run

About two months ago, I went ahead and did something quite crazy. I signed up for a local 5.5 km run through the social and sports club of my workplace. Now while running itself is not usually associated with being crazy, for me it was because I used to detest running while I was young and in school. I dreaded the yearly cross country event we had to take part in and would walk the whole 1.5 km and pretend I conquered the world at the end of it. I never had the stamina nor the interest to run for the sake of running (I didn't mind running around while playing hockey though) I was also always prone to my sides aching after putting in some effort in running. So, it was a BIG thing for me to sign up for this run, which was a competition, and definitely would have real runners competing as well.

I immediately started focusing on running in the gym. I tried building stamina by running for as long as I could. The first day, I jogged for about 15 minutes, brisk walked for about 5 minutes, then jogged again for another 15 and then walked for about 10. I covered about 4.5 km that day and went back with swollen feet. I was not deterred, though - I took a one day break and tried again the following day. I tried running about 3 times a week in the gym and while I could last longer jogging (I graduated from 15 minutes to 30 minutes in about 3 weeks or so), I didn't have enough stamina to last one whole hour. 

I was about to head out onto the roads for trial runs, but I unfortunately met with an accident. Although I was physically fine, I met with a mental block. I thought I'd be back on my feet in a week or so, but I allowed the mental block to fester and hardly did any running or practice. I looked at the calendar with nonchalance as the days flew by, but panic greeted me as June arrived. June 10th was the day I'd run along the streets of this town I grew up in. It was the day I'd have to give my all. Towards the end, I only had 2 objectives:

1. Finish the race within the qualifying time

2. To not embarrass myself (by fainting, or worse - coming in last!)

June 10 arrived. Not being familiar with how runs are handled, I arrived just in the nick of time to register (which means dumping my card into a box for the lucky draw later) I didn't know they had a warm up session, otherwise I'd have gone much earlier. At 6:45 am they flagged off the 12 km runners. At 7:00 am, the 5.5 km runners were flagged off. We jogged, ran and walked along the race route, the 5.5 km feeling like the longest distance I've ever had to take on foot. Towards the last 1 km or so, the 12 km serious runners started overtaking the non-serious runners of the 5.5 km. Nevertheless, I reached the finish line in 45 minutes, and had no reason to feel embarrassed over anything. Objectives achieved. On top of that, I received a finishing medal and a certificate. I have a weird feeling that I'll be participating in more runs after this!

The bib, the finishing medal and a goody bag